What is it that causes a person to love, or better yet what makes a guy want to be loved by a girl and vica versa?

I have been pondering this question for a some time now. It is one of the most astounding things.

Please write I would love to hear from you.

I wouldn't know what I guy looks for in a girl, because I'm not a dude, I'm a girl. But from what I see at my school of the 7th grade boys, is that I hear them say like, "I date my girlfriend becuase she's HOT!", or, "I date becuase it's fun"?!?!?. But I don't really get the point of dating it just turns firends into enemies. But I am really to young to fall in love, but what I look for in a guy is sincere loyalty, and devotedness, charm, happiness, a little bit of silliness, and the stuff that i like, but of coarse there is no guy I know like that, and no one in my class seems to like, like me. But I do like good looks also, but the Main thing a boy has to have for me to like him is true christianity. That means no cussing! no dissing his parents! no fliiping out! And just the peace of the Lord. This is just my take on it all.
, Erin

Please keep in mind that good looks are nice, but they really aren't the most important thing in my book. The "inner person" has significantly greater value to me than the "outer person".

Another thing to consider is that over time, a person's ideas of love may well change, as a person changes....

I think when people address questions like this, they're afraid to say "beauty" or "status" because they're not "supposed" to. But I think that results in a bit of delusion.

Beauty is the first thing that most men look for in women, and there's nothing morally wrong with that -- it's hardwiring; it's an inheritance from the dawn of time. The particulars of beauty vary from person to person, but physical attraction is the initial "hook," and a man will instinctively forgive much, very much, in a woman to whom he is physically attracted that he would not forgive in someone to whom he is not physically attracted.

For women, although physical attraction sometimes plays a role, personal compatability (which can be interpreted in various ways) is also important. But above all, the man's social status (wealth, power, prestige) are extremely significant; often paramount. Again, there's nothing morally wrong with that, even though it can ultimately lead to unhappiness. It's the biological inheritance.

Jung writes that


and I think he's absoloutely right. It's true for women too, except in their case, "image" is less about physical appearance than about the particulars I mentioned above.

I have been reading everything everyone has posted and want to say that every one has touched on the external and a little on the inside but what I mean is what is the factor that causes a person to want that interaction with the opposite gender? Besides the attraction and emotional aspects of it.

Thanx for writing, please continue to write on this subject.

Smiley Boy Tim,

You ask an interesting, but difficult, question. Part of me would say, it is how we are wired. For some, they feel like another person makes them whole or completes them. For others it stems from a desire for companionship. Sometimes we fall in love and "pow" we are knocked off our hearts and sometimes love sneaks up on us, from out of the blue. I don't know how one would 'prepare' for love. I would suggest developing a variety of healthy friendships and relationships. Many times love can grow from a deep and abiding friendship.

Dancingheart

What I think is I was born a pure heart. Then, I have felt I love everyone I see.

You cant say your in love you just have to feel it. when people ask when did you fall in love you really cant pinpoint a time and date. it gradually makes itself apparent to you.
Dont go looking for the one to love. let them find you. this goes for both boys and girls. if you go looking you will find flaws that you dont like much too quickly. if your just yourself and dont put on a show to get a guy/girl then you will find the one that is "the one" for you. your interests will match and you will have no problem making conversation.
as for me im im not shallow. although looks do play a small role to get my attention and interest i look deeper than that. i like to get to kno the person and really get to see who they are underneath all the make-up and looks. some physicall qualities i like more than others but its the personality you should really get to know and love.